I know that I have never experienced a loss in this way and I also don’t know of anyone else who has either, but does this really sound like a legitimate policy or procedure for a hospital? The workers that initiated this were part of what they call a “bereavement team”. It has me wondering exactly what is the goal of this bereavement team?

The staff overlooked the patient’s request and instead sent over 120 photos of the deceased newborn to the grief stricken mother, wow. Naturally, the mother was upset enough to hire a lawyer and see what her rights as a patient are under these circumstances. I just can’t imagine this being a standard procedure and a method of helping a mother cope with the loss of her child. Let’s face it, I can’t imagine that there’s anything at all that can give someone peace at that time in someone’s life, minus love and support from the people around them, but to think that seeing photos after the child has expired doesn’t seem like it would be anything that would be at the top of the list. I am quite curious as to whether this is something that some parent’s would actually want?

I mean I will admit that when the O.J. Simpson trial hit the air waves every day, I did tune into some of it. But it did seem to have a little more question of guilt or innocence. The guy was also famous and no one can lie and say that the plot wasn’t intriguing with this young beautiful white waitress meeting this rich black charming athlete and sweeping her off her feet only to end up possibly murdering her in a fit of jealous rage years, marriage and children later. The Young and the Restless couldn’t compete during that trial. But this case seems to be as lack luster as it gets minus the slinging in of the dad and brother’s sexual abuse. I have to admit that one was a little bit of a left fielder. But the spoiled rebellious daughter who has a child that her parent’s end up raising and who gets a little too carried away with the chloroform one night when she’d rather go out and party than stay at home being a parent is unfortunately pretty cliche. Now most of these mother’s don’t end up killing the child like she did, but these types of family situation’s go on every day. And unlike O.J. who already got to experience fame, this girl is on cloud nine with all the attention that she is getting from her poor decisions.

But these cases, trials and the fact that people become so obsessed (even people like Dr. Drew) just show you how crazy our world is. I mean if we really cared about the victims here and less about the drama of the stage, then we would spend more time working to keep things like this happening from others through education, therapy and possibly even sterilization I’m just tired of seeing her sit there day in and day out with nothing really going on upstairs other than what next lie she can tell. I will be glad when this one is finally over.

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So is this too young, is this inappropriate, does this not only send a sexual message to our girls, but also to our boys? Yes, probably.

I will say however that most girls do start thinking about having boobies around that age. Is this something that has just started with our recent generations? Honestly I’m not sure because I wasn’t a little girl growing up in the 1950’s. Obviously anything of a sexual nature was more taboo back then and less talked about but did this mean that there was less of a sexual nature going back on in those days and that somehow the children were more innocent or pure? No, probably not.

I personally can remember being very little and wanting to play dress up with my mom’s things. I don’t remember wanting to wear her bra necessarily, so I can say pretty certainly that the idea of having breast didn’t hit me until I was about ten or eleven and when I actually did start growing them. Then I can remember after getting a bra that I may have felt the need to fill it out a little more by stuffing some tissue here or there. Don’t think I actually wore it to school due to the knowledge of people knowing there was no way that they could have grown that quickly and the possibility of tissue falling out somewhere.

On the other hand, I can say that my daughter has been fascinated with my boobs for awhile (she’s six now). While I was curious about my own mother’s, I don’t recall being like my own daughter, and telling her that I wanted any. I must admit that I was a little surprised when my daughter told me this as we were driving down the road one day, but only about as much as when she also told me she wanted pink hair. Pink hair and boobs at five years old…wow, what a wish list! lol.

My daughter isn’t seven yet, but I couldn’t imagine her wearing a push up bra next year at the pool. Actually I don’t even care too much for her wearing a two piece, but if it’s cute and she really likes it, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Fortunately this year she seems to be happy with her one pieces and hasn’t expressed any real desire for a two piece even though she has before and worn them in the past.

I don’t know, I think the problem here is less about what is being sold in a store and more about whether your daughter has the desire to wear something them. If so, then she is probably not being told enough to wait til she is older on certain things. For the most part, I think that strategy has worked with my daughter. She doesn’t get everything she wants and she will be told that some things you do need to wait on. Her having boobies is one of them. Unfortunately, for her, I know it’s only a few years away.

I guess for me, I feel that the term “single” mom can be a little misleading. There are a lot of single mother’s out there that aren’t really that “single” at all when you look at it…like Natalie Portman for example who Huckabee caught the spotlight for criticizing. Not only does she seem to be engaged and have her “baby daddy” around, but she also has a big bank account that will offset any financial struggles or woes that she would typically have if she were really a “single” parent.

When I think of single parent, I think of my own mother who had no father in the picture concerning me and who had little to no financial or physical help with me coming from any angle. Not saying that her family didn’t help some when I was growing up, but it was minimal. It wasn’t like in some other non-American cultures where grandparent’s as well as maybe some other family member’s like aunts, uncles, cousins etc. lived in the same home, so everyone played a part in the upbringing of a child. So when someone says “single” parent, the term should be given a little more thought than that of being “unmarried”.

In my case personally, I could technically call myself a single parent because I am not married, but I share custody with the father(s) and as of recently due to location and my work schedule, they are actually doing a lot of the raising of my kids right now. If I tell someone I am divorced with three kids, they look at me with this look of “oh my God, how do you do it?” When in reality my actual situation is nothing like what most would imagine or you may see in a lifetime movie. So I don’t consider myself a “single” parent in the slightest. I only consider someone really a single parent if there is no father/mother or other family to help them raise the children and they are making so little that they have to work the two or three jobs to pay the bills. And of course if this were the case, they aren’t able to be much of a “parent” at all and the kid does a lot of their own raising. I mean think about that. How many kids are what people term latch key kids after the age of 12 or so, who because of being born to one person without many others around, spend a lot of time without any real parenting at all? Hmmm…lots to really think about with all of this how inaccurate the terms we use to label situations are.

Honestly, as unpopular as Huckabee’s statements were as well as some of his ignorance, I do get one point of his view. I know that we have young girls all the time who have no real help financially or otherwise who get pregnant to become another statistic who can only depend on the government for help in raising their children. It not only takes a toll on our system, but on the girl herself, the child and the world as a whole. There is no doubt that the real term of “single” parent in some ways can be seen too much as an option and like a cliff that too many jump off of without knowing what lies below and what it will mean for their lives and futures for themselves and their offspring. And it’s not only the young single girls, but many women in general who end up “married” and in situations where they are unhappy in their relationships and marriages, but feel the need to stay in order to be able to raise their children.

So I actually think that Natalie Portman is setting a great example as far as who needs to be a mother. Not only is the father of the child someone who plays an active role, but I am sure she is someone who also has many other people around who can be there for her and her child and support her in this now new adventure. If nothing else, she can afford to pay some! I also think that the fact that she does not need to be married in order to financially be able to care for a child is another huge positive in her situation of becoming a new mother. So she is also an example to many women who are actually married who depend on the financial support of their husbands (or vice versa, there may be some guys in the same boat w/bread winning mothers) in order to have children.

So while Mike Huckabee did send a message that I understood in one language, the other was a message of total ignorance that perpetuates that marriage is the answer when it comes to being able to have happy and healthy children. In some instances, marriages can be just as undesirable if not more harmful than within a single parent environment.

If any girl looks at Natalie Portman and identifies with her, I think that is great and that she is a great role model for young women. But I would also hope that they would also have enough common sense to understand that Natalie Portman has reached a plateau in life that in reality, they will probably never and therefore when it comes to their own decision of whether or not having a child is a good idea, they will be able to look at their own circumstances thoroughly and wisely make the right decision for themselves.
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There are a lot of people out there that say that you should monitor your children and that you as the parent are responsible for what your child see’s or hears. Ummmm….well, I can agree with some of that but when every time you turn around you are hearing about sex and pulling condoms from a drawer, look on television and see young people acting like retarded animals or cartoons like Family Guy on, you wonder what exactly as a parent you are supposed to do? If I did ever figure out how to program my television to prevent the kids from seeing certain things, then I probably would never be able to watch anything myself.

And let’s face it, even if you spent your life sheltering your child from all that’s on the radio and television, isn’t it highly likely that they are going to go to school and be clued in there? So while as a parent your job is to raise your own children, teach them values and do your best to protect them from vulgar and overly exploitative material, aren’t our children inevitably going to be exposed to the world around them and be sucked into at least some of it? Where is the responsibility of society and the world when it comes to the messages that it’s sending to our young people? Parent’s cannot do it alone.

I know I grew up with Madonna and Janet Jackson who were definitely used sexuality in their performances. But Madonna in herself, wasn’t that sexual in my opinion. She was more like a stick with a boostea trying to spit on status quo and religion. And while Janet did occasionally show some cleavage and go dancing down a beach or something, it wasn’t overtly sexual or showing her crotch all up in the camera.

I get that pop stars now like Rihanna and Katie Perry feel they have to push the envelope and go further than they have before to be different and show people something they have never seen, but where will it all end? It’s no wonder Miley felt the need as only a teenager to use a stripper pole in her performance. It was definitely something that had never been done before at such an early age. I get that expressing yourself in a sexual way as a young girl is a natural part of growing up, but how easy is it for them to get stuck in that box where they soon forget about anything else that they also are? Are our female pop singers really just turning into strippers now with decent voices? Is the radio just a place for all the guys out there to express how much they think about sex and just want to get laid? Seriously.

I’m not sure where all of this going, who will stop it, if it can be stopped or what it’s going to mean for our future population and what they feel the need to do to fit in or be accepted? While some other countries don’t look at sex as so taboo or controversial like we in the U.S. seem to, when it is shown or talked about there it’s not meant to prove a point or push some type of envelope in such distasteful ways. I think our whole view in this country of sex, what it means and the role it plays in our lives is warped. It’s all been pushed down our throats for the mighty dollar and what it means for our kids who are still learning and growing about themselves and their place in the world, I’m not quite sure.

Apparently she thinks school is more of a place for her to socialize. She likes to “do hair” at gym. She got a comb stuck in her friend’s hair to where it took the teacher over 15 minutes to get it out and almost traumatized her friend with the thoughts of them having to cut it out. My daughter was brought to tears. I think a friend of mine and I did something similar with a roll brush and my bangs, but I wasn’t so lucky. It did end up having to be cut out.

She likes to talk about “boys”. It doesn’t matter that I told her that all boys are the same and that they are no different than the two brothers that you already have. She still thinks it’s fun to talk about them and will be the first to tell you that Justin Bieber is going to marry Hannah Montana.

She doesn’t like following directions. Ummmm, I get some of this from her at home. Like when I ask her to put on an outfit that makes sense to the seasonal weather outside and she comes out ready to go to the beach in mid December.

She likes to daydream. I have to admit, this one got me. As serious as I was trying to be with the teacher and my daughter’s father (who had brought a notepad to take notes and who had already told the teacher about him taking all of her toys away) I almost laughed. That was sort of the kicker for me. While I didn’t have any pop star boy or girl that I cared enough to talk about, nor was that concerned with fashion at her age (she’s only 6), I sure had the same indifference concerning school. There was no way if I was put near a window at school that I wouldn’t be called out for daydreaming. She indeed is my offspring. And the older I got, the worse it got and the less I cared for school. The more I cared about friends and also used it as a place to “socialize” as my mother would have put it. But with strict guidelines on grades and my social life, I did make pretty good grades all throughout school. I never made A honor roll, but I did enough to get by and so I wouldn’t be grounded.

So while I understand the importance of my daughter knowing how to read and write and don’t want her to steer too far from the beaten path, I also know how flawed our institution of learning is and where it fails children like her and so many others. She is very creative (just like her mama!) and enjoys acting, drawing and being social. She doesn’t care too much for following directions and isn’t exactly excited when it comes to reading. Her brother on the other hand likes books, thankfully. But rather than embracing and having her in an environment that will teach her the fundamentals but also acknowledge what may appear to be weaknesses to some as actual strengths, and help to support and grow them, she will be told that those things are bad/wrong or less desirable attributes and traits than others. Her toys will be taken away by her father again and again. So I guess like me, she will just have to work around the system and in her own time and way come about her own development.

It just really sucks when we can see our children for who they truly are and appreciate that, yet see them sort of stuck in a system that tries to fit them into some cookie cutter mold that not only stifles their individual growth and happiness, but short changes the world as a whole.

There’s another than describes her day as a housewife and in the actual video, she is driving a car like many rapper’s do in their videos, but rather than scantily clad women dancing around her, she’s got what seems to be the men off her block half naked and pouring soap everywhere. The last one I can think of is a mockery of Hannah Montana’s “GNO” song which apparently stands for “Girl’s Night Out”. She demonstrates a typical suburban housewife’s night out on the town which leads her to being called a cougar. I think what’s so appealing about this lady besides her catchy cursing and lyrics is the fact that she does actually look like a real suburban mom who is the actual real size of a woman. Her suburban comrades are pretty believable as well. It’s all quite lovely. Here’s one of her video’s and you should be able to find the others on youtube as well. Liberating the suburban housewife and providing laughs all at the same time, brilliant!

Check her out here

My oldest just played in his league’s basketball championship game last Saturday. He’s sort of looking away towards the angle of where his dad is taking the picture. They didn’t win by a few points, however he has came a long way this season. This is his third year playing and I guess his hard work has finally payed off. He lucked out and was on a great team this year and got a little taste of what playing sports can offer. When he was younger, he leaned more towards playing football, but luckily (because what mother wants to possibly face those type of injuries) basketball has seemed to stick and it has been a pretty positive experience for him. As long as he keeps his grades up, he can play. If nothing else, it will hopefully at least keep his mind off of the girls for awhile.

But I guess my biggest hope like most parents of athletes, is that it will possibly land him a scholarship for college. Even at the young age of 12, he’s already got his eye on a few possible colleges. I’m not one that believes it’s ever too soon to have at least some type of direction. My thoughts are that since his dad and I aren’t rich, and I don’t want for him to take on the massive amount of debt that often comes with four year colleges, that a scholarship is really the only reasonable way of him going. At this point, it at least looks like a possibility as long as he really does enjoy a sport and can excel in it.

Having said that, if he does get a full ride, I don’t see any reason he shouldn’t take it. However, if he doesn’t, I have to wonder if that systematic route would be the way for him to go or if I should try to encourage him to look more at other possibilities? He already knows from me that I don’t care what path he takes as long as he can figure out a way to support himself eventually. But with the state of the economy and the fact that many now educated and fully qualified employees can’t get jobs, I just don’t know if I ever did believe in that system or especially if I do now? There are many people who say it’s smarter to take that money that a kid would otherwise spend on college and either invest, travel or start their own company with it. It’s definitely food for thought.

Recently from my area locally, a guy pretty much summed it up. He said, “My parents told me if I did more than was expected of me, worked hard, and kept adding to my education and experience, then I would be successful. This philosophy no longer applies.”

While report cards don’t go out right now on parents, there’s no doubt in my mind that we are always graded constantly regardless. I’m sure there isn’t one set of parent’s that the teacher hasn’t made their own imaginary diagnosis of by the middle of the school years. But most of the the imaginary report card is usually always in our own minds of whether we are passing or failing at parenthood. And let’s face it, if most of us are honest, we are usually always at least below average.

Isn’t parenthood already hard enough? Does this Floridian politician have her own set of children to manage? I doubt it.

I don’t want to use parenthood already being hard enough as an excuse for parents not being held accountable when it comes to their child’s academics. But we already usually know what parent’s are hugely involved and what parent’s could care less, right? Is passing out a report card to them really going to change that?

Hate to add another reason or excuse here, but some parent’s have a hard enough time holding down the fort at home and working full-time jobs. After running to the grocery story, cooking a meal, spending a usual almost hour nightly on homework and preparing Jimmy and Sue with their bath and favorite bedtime story, where is the energy to even think about anything else but grabbing a night cap and pillow?

So while yes, parent’s are responsible to some degree on how well their children are doing in school, there are many other factors. There is also the fact that they spend more hours in school than at home. And while education should be an important part of home life, so should a parent just being able to enjoy their time with their kid…without worrying about being graded or what school project is coming up next. All I can say is if they start handing out report cards then I’ll have another idea! Why don’t they just start handing out paychecks right along with them?

I love my daughter more than anything in this world. I couldn’t imagine having to watch her suffer through the heartache and pain of those miscarriages. But to be a surrogate for her? Honestly, I’m just not so sure about that.

First of all, my body has taken a beating from pregnancy already. Three babies later and I still have occasional back pain as well as other irritations that I never had before pregnancy. Besides the physical, what about the mental and emotional toll that pregnancy takes on you as well? While 61 isn’t terribly old, I wonder if this lady is still working? She couldn’t possibly be. And while I am sure that the grandmother is quite aware that the child isn’t hers, there has to be some weirdness surrounding that whole senerio. Some mother’s can easily overstep boundaries, anyway. What about when it comes to a child that they are somewhat the mother of? Motherhood starts at conception or before and housing the child while pregnant is definitely part of the bonding and mothering experience. I don’t know how I would feel about either being a surrogate or having a surrogate to have a child in the first place, but my mother carrying it…um, no, lol.

The medical professions say that it is actually quite common for mother’s to be surrogates for their children and that in spite of the age issue, that they seem to be quite successful. Apparently the womb still stays completely in tact and functional regardless of time. I think it’s really great that a mother would do that for her daughter and it speaks volumes about their love for one another. It really is admirable. I still just am not quite sure what I would say or do if that proposal was laid out in front of me on a table.

Here’s the story.