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Posted by Laurel on November 15th, 2010

Well, you can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Please refer to my post called Pop Star/Wife & Mom?

Once again it’s a prime example unfortunately of how when people get married and have children, they still seem to think that just because they may have lots of money and trainers to be able to fit back into those size 0’s again, that they are also going to be able to have their life magically reappear as it was before with a great career and loving spouse, only this time with a kid in toe. Unfortunately gals, it just doesn’t work that way.

Out of different celebrity couples, I look at the ones who choose to have babies. Let’s just take a few others for example like, Kendra, Halle Berry, Alicia Keys, J-lo and maybe even throw Madonna and Angelina Jolie in for good measure. While it’s the marriages (or relationships) that have kids that need the most to stay in toe, it’s often those that fail. Not only because they are in Hollywood where money seems to be able to buy anything, including an easy next relationship, but also because stars often think that they can really can “have it all”. I’ll go back to Oprah who says, you can have it all, just not all at once. And so while, I’m not sure that a woman can’t have a kid and their career, kid and husband or husband and career, it does seem that to have all three not counting the other things you need to have a balanced life is a huge stretch. The few that have maintained successful marriages and children seem to have left their careers behind.

Some like Kendra seem to try to balance things by using reality television as part of their career to give more time and focus to husband and kids, but how long will they be successful at that? Halle Berry obviously chose her kid and career with recent break-up to model baby daddy, although I haven’t really seen her in any major roles lately. Alicia Keys just popped her child out. How long before Swiss Beats figures out that like the first wife, Alicia is now also too busy changing diapers and buying cute outfits to give him that same one one one attention that his wife after having a baby couldn’t? Jennifer Lopez seems to be working to make it all work for now, but even though I’ve heard she’s working on another album and had a VH-1 special on her love life, I don’t see anymore major hits and have heard more about her wedding vow renewals than anything. Madonna, well we all know how that ended after 3 kids and a “Sticky & Sweet” tour. Last but not least I brought up Angelina Jolie who seems to be a size 0 these days. Her and Brad have not “officially” tied the knot (which may be what has kept their relationship alive) and her career seems to be in overdrive with her latest news having to do with her filming license suspended due to directing a controversial film. So even though the relationship department and possibly the career department look like they may still be under control (notice the words may be), there are the reports of her lack of parenting skills with her children and how Brad does most of the work. It makes sense because if you’ve noticed, his career is pretty lack luster these days.

My point being with all of this is…as women (and probably just people in general), we need to be aware of the realities of the roles we play and not expect to be able to eat everything we put on our plate when our eyes are too big for our stomachs. It might just be some of what contributes to a lot of our unhappiness, depression and illnesses in this country…not mentioning our stories of child abuse, neglect etc. Unfortunately life really is all about trade-offs!

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