Most of us have heard one of Oprah’s phrase slogan’s “disease to please”. Usually it’s used in context to grown women (especially us mother’s!) who are overwhelmed and exhausted due to wanting to please everyone and make everyone happy. But what if it also pertains to your children and their awareness of boundaries and limits?

One of the things that I’m most proud of concerning my capabilities as a parent (and I assure that there are many that I’m not so proud of! lol) is that I have always felt confident in raising spirited children that have no problem with standing up for themselves and feeling deserving of happiness. And while I believe that this is true inside our home and with each other as a family, I have recently been awoken to the fact that it’s not always so true out in the real world. How our children act inside the home will not necessarily be the same as when they walk out the door.

Recently a new boy moved into the neighborhood who is two years older than my twins. Well, it didn’t take long for my son to go crazy because now has a new friend that he can ride his scooter with and find some fun with other than his same old boring sister. And while I am also happy that he has a new friend, there’s a certain fear I have as a parent when I see my son getting so excited and dependent on this new kid in town.

Sure enough as I watch over and listen as they are playing, I hear the boy telling my son what to do and not speaking to him in a nice manner. I also see some other things that I’m not happy with and feel the need to call my kids in for a time out. As a mom, you don’t want nor even know exactly how to tell your five-year-old’s to not take any crap from someone. But as I do my best, my son responds with a great sadness and says if I say that, then he won’t be my friend. “I don’t want to be mean.” What my son isn’t realizing at the time is that his friend has been mean to him and taken advantage of him without him even recognizing it.

I’ve realized just through this small situation how important it is for us to give our children freedom outside the home so that they can learn and grow outside where they will confront real life problems and we can actually monitor it before they do walk out into the real world at eighteen. The disease to please and peer pressure doesn’t just pertain to girls and women but also boys and men and unfortunately too often they can’t recognize it, much less stand up and do anything about it. That’s where we need to come into the picture.