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Monkey In The Middle
I know any parent who has more than one child can feel this way at times. You are standing in the middle of two children that hate each other at that given moment. Prime example of a Nanny 911 moment where you feel you desperately need a time out mat and one of those great big boards with behavior tally marks. However, I go back to ideal versus reality and reality says that often those remedies come after the fact and do little to distract little 3 ft tempers.
My twins just turned 5 last month so there have been a lot of positive changes that have came about for them over the last year and one of them is being able to talk to them to help them process good and bad behavior issues. Recently there was the evening event where my daughter and I came upstairs and once in the bedroom there was a shoe thrown that hit her. This came from her brother who said “I hate you, little girl” as he pouted with anger. As soon as I got angry for his behavior, I asked him why he threw the shoe at her. He replied that she didn’t wait on him to go up the stairs. So the discussions begin like this. When someone does something that makes you angry or hurts you, you need to tell them or an adult, not react in an ugly way. He shook his head as if he understood and I felt a small sigh of relief. Is it possible that he really understood this concept? Did she when I said the same thing to her?
I’m not sure how many times I will need to repeat this communication for them to grasp these small behavior concepts or if they really will ever be effective. I mean how many of us adults implement positive and constructive behaviors and conflict resolutions? But I guess it’s worth a try when I remember!
Heya..thanks for the post and great tips.