So here is one of those “what would you do?” situations. Of course unless we are actually in the situation, we will never truly know, but the question can provide some food for thought. Would you support your child’s decision to be with someone who has physically abused them?

With Rihanna’s personal life all over the “breaking news” threads, I read that her dad is publicly backing and supporting his daughter’s decision to reconcile her relationship with Chris Brown. I have also read conflicting reports that say differently, but I’m sure there’s some truth in both.

As a parent, the last type of person that you want your child with is one that abuses them - verbally or physically. Some people say that abusers seek out people that are somehow weaker or have self-esteem issues. Does Rhianna seem to have a self-esteem issue? If she does, she would be an unlikely candidate. I believe it can happen to anyone who is unsuspecting. One predictor is someone’s past behavior, but how often are those things disclosed up front?

There are two sides to every story and even though physical violence is of course never the answer and shouldn’t be an option, if it does occur it can be an opportunity for healing for both people with the proper guidance and resources. No one is perfect as they say. Words and other actions can be just as hurtful as physical harm.

I guess for me, it would all depend on the situation. If my child was Rihanna’s age, I would suggest she end the relationship and get some counseling. However if she were older and there was more at stake, I would possibly support her relationship. However even if I would support my child, I would make my feelings clear and if it weren’t apparent that both of them weren’t either healing or ending the relationship then I would no longer be supportive. I would probably not completely cut ties with my child, however my feelings would be supported by actions that let my child know that they are on their own in their decision. I wouldn’t be a parent that would just stand and wait for a dreaded phone call. I would at least help my child to re-consider their relationship.

There are instances where the tipping scale can be weighted by family and friends lack of support of the relationship. As parents, we definitely have influence and can help tip the scales sometimes, even if we don’t have total control.