As I was listening to the radio yesterday, there was an organization recognized for sponsoring an initiative towards the prevention of child abuse. It got me thinking about what is the actual definition of child abuse if there was a term for the opposite, which would be parental abuse.

Many might find this funny or questionable, but in reality it is an actual problem in some homes. I have never witnessed the physical abuse of a parent, however I have heard the story of others that have. I have witnessed emotional abuse, as well as see where I myself as a parent could fall victim through my own children if I didn’t handle things in a certain manner.

Just identifying abuse in itself could seem an overwhelming task to the average person - especially with chaos of every day life. However, in this day & time, it seems that often the child/parent role can be reversed with the child telling the parent what to do…especially as a child & parent get older. The good ole, get a switch from a tree days, are replaced by feelings of guilt, time outs and more seemingly positive alternatives that may or may not work. I wonder how many parents recognize when their life is out of control due to children that can be the bully, manipulative, just plain mean or physical?

So while I am all for preventing a child from being victimized or growing up in an unhealthy environment, I also feel that parents can easily fall victim as well without proper skills and resources. Sometimes love for a child or just lack of disciplinary skills can easily create an abusive child or a “monster”. Where are the rights of a parent when they are legally responsible and bound til a child is 18 and what does society do with this same child?

I remember as I hit pre-teen years and puberty hit, I was verbally harrassing towards my own mother. I hated having to eat dinner at 6pm every night, so as soon as we would sit down I would begin to “start in” on her.

I’m not sure how long this went on, but I do remember one night when she finally had enough, she wacked a big smack across my face. At the time I was stunned. I was hurt and I was angry…but I stopped. I now look back on that time and I know that with my “I hate you’s”, door slamming, whining and nagging, that I deserved that slap and probably needed many more of them. So what are the definitions? Where are the lines? And how do we nurture, yet discipline our children without them turning into our own worst nightmares?