There was a show this week on transgendered children and how parents should handle them. There were two theories on the show of how a child crosses over these identity boundaries.

• One side said from a scientific view, even though the child develops certain body parts, the nervous system stays feminine. There are many more boys (1 to 5 ratio) than girls that end up being trans-gender.
• The other theory was where a child has an “over involved” parent of the opposite sex & they begin to identify with them over the same sex parent.

I would say that if I had to pick one of the two theories, I would pick the first. However, either is possible and maybe they both happen. Either way, it would be quite a challenge as a parent if you don’t know how to respond or can grasp the concept.

I actually have a cousin who is transgender. I would say that he & his mother were and still are very close - more so than he is with his father, but whether that is the reason or it’s a scientific matter, I don’t know.

Does any of that really matter though? It only matters, when you have society telling people that it isn’t okay or “not normal” and they should change themselves to the way things “should be”. After my cousin’s operation, his father still can’t accept “him” for “her”. Most of the extended family only judges it as well, because they don’t understand it. I can imagine it can be quite a lonely existence, even after it being more accepted and understood now than in the past.

What parent wants their child to be judged, ridiculed or isolated? But more important, what parent wants to raise a child that doesn’t feel comfortable in their own skin or thinks something is wrong with who they are and they have to change themselves to fit other peoples ideals or stereotypes?

There was something that really bothered me on the show from the side of the “encouraging your child to embrace their masculine side” so that they fit into society. I was really surprised this was the message that was sent in today’s world where I thought we were trying to teach our kids to be more tolerant and that being different is a good thing, not bad. Isn’t that the real problem parents have, not having a transgender child.

Is it really as simple to put your child into some type of therapy that will magically change them back to “normal”? And if this method does work, then maybe it was more of an identity issue (which is a natural part of any child or person growing up), rather than a biological one?

We are taught that anything different or unique is wrong, that it should be hid and not accepted. The fact is, I think transgender people provide a bridge between having a certain identity and being a human being. At first you look at someone and you see a female side. But then you think, agh, but they were born a man and you look and can see the man. It’s really weird but cool at the same time because with one person, you can see both sexes. Hmmmm, definitely makes life interesting.