I used to be one of those parents who judged other parents for playing favorites or seeming to care for one child over another. And while I still feel that all children should feel equally loved, I must say that my view has wavered a little since having my own unique and wonderful children.

I have an aunt and uncle that had two sons. One son had a similar personality to his father, and the other favored his mother. When it came to interests and values, one went the mother’s way and another the father’s way.

As the kids got older, it was like the family was totally divided. I just couldn’t grasp this concept, nor could ever see this is my own family. However, now I actually see how this happens.

Even if the the children developed contrasting personalities from having parents who were very different, all children develop personalities. Minus the roles of parent and child, there isn’t much to separate you from experiencing the same personality conflicts that you do with everyone else, or even the same one’s you may experience with the other parent!

When it comes to my oldest son and my daughter, their personalities seem to be more similar to mine and caring for them seems to come much more natural and easier. But with my other son, he doesn’t like to be told what to do and doesn’t care to have anything done for him that he can or can’t do for himself.

I know that he didn’t get all of this from his father (even though when I complained about being pregnant, his dad said, “if I could’ve gotten pregnant I would have”) and some of the independent spirit is mine. Some of it I even actually admire, even though sometimes I can’t believe some of the things that come out of his mouth. While he seems to have strong will which can be a good thing and is on a great path towards being an entreprenuer, at the age of 4, he isn’t the easiest child to parent.

I try to stay conscious enough to not hold this against him in anyway or show more love towards my other children whom seem to be more at ease with taking direction, however I must be honest that it can be quite a struggle at times.

There are days that I want to hand him right over to the mail lady or threaten him with boot camp even though he has no idea what that is at his point. I wonder, how will I handle him as a teenager if he is such a challenge at the age of 4?

Will I be one of those poor parent’s who are completely overwhelmed and exhausted by this strong force they gave birth to and are on their way to an early grave because of it? I doubt it, but I do know now how it can happen. Maybe just like there are resources for parents with children with certain diseases etc., there should be a support group for people with more challenging, difficult or strong willed children?

At this point, it is definitely one day at a time and I’m even thinking of having the serenity prayer embroidered on a pillow.