Recently Oprah had a show about a young man killing his mother and brother. The dad has written a book called “Murder by Family” about his experience of dealing the death of his family as well as the healing process through the continued life of the son who now sits on death row.

Headlines are filled with parents who murder their children, but very few with the other way around. As parents, we often hope our children will be grateful for the life that we have helped to give but there are often instances where children are not happy with their lives or being here. Children can sometimes be a parent’s worst nightmare like in this story. It’s not uncommon for teenagers to go through periods of confusion, anger and experience negative emotions which are dispersed onto the parents. But most grow out of this stage, stop blaming their parents and grow up into adults and having their own lives.

However, I guess there are a percentage of people that never outgrow this part of life and it manifests into something greater than themselves and grows into something too big for them to handle. People want to know why, where did things go wrong, who’s to blame?

As the father sat in the chair, he shared no real answers for the questions he was asked. Oprah said we are here to learn and for other parents to notice signs. He said…I was a good parent. I was an active parent in my children’s lives. There were no real signs or solutions it seemed. Maybe he could have made less excuses for this child? That was all he could really offer in hindsight.

The son sits behind bars and tells his side of loving his parents and brother, but also being unhappy with his existence and life. He didn’t feel he could meet expectations or be his real self and still be lovable to his parents. His dissatisfaction turned to anger and hatred over the years. His response…“us humans are messy”.

How would a parent know if their life was in danger or if they needed to fear their own child? Would they have the courage to separate themselves or even reach out to law enforcement if necessary? Most children scream that they hate their parents at one time or another, but when does that turn into the possibility of violence or tragically murder?

I guess there’s a lot people don’t really think about when they are holding that bundle of joy for the very first time.

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