Simple instruction, “Ride the bus home today.” Simple. Straight forward. No sideways thinking involved in understanding the clear instructions. Well, at least I thought they were clear. It was the last thing I said to my son, my almost-13-year-old-son, before telling him goodbye, saying, “I love you,” and seeing him off on the bus to school. I specifically made sure it was last on his mind so it would be easy to remember. I was wrong! He didn’t remember. He completely forgot.

He is suppose to arrive at his bus stop at 4:40 PM. I made sure that I arrived on-time, which is difficult for me- being on-time. I pulled into my little area where I sit and began the short wait - at that time - for my son.

I see the bus. Here it come. Finally! It’s a little, well a lot hot outside. I was getting impatient in the heat. One kid. Two kids. Three kids. Four. They keep piling out of the bus. Then the door closes. All of the kids begin to disperse down the sidewalks and streets to their homes. Hmm. Where is my son? Definitely not among the kids now walking in the hot weather to their enticing cold homes. What? Where are you child?

Normally, when my son doesn’t ride the bus home he attends an after-school program for teens that is part of the Boys & Girls Clubs of America. I will give you one guess where he was. Bingo! At the after school program. I called them to make sure he was there. First, I am thankful he was safe. Second, I was irritated with him for not listening. Now, of course there is always the “forgot”, but with my son that excuse is tired and old.

Yes. I drove to pick him up - 20 minutes back into the city. Yes. We sat in traffic since it was after 5 PM - for over 45 minutes to get back home. I was frustrated and upset. Sure it was just a little thing, but that little thing - listening - has a ton to do with my son wanting the responsibility that comes with a 13 year old. Yes. My son said he just forgot. His reply to my many questions of “Why?” Well, he said, “You forget things all the time.”

I was surprised at his reply. Wow. First, he should never have replied to me like he did - smart and sarcastic. And two, at 13 he showed in his reply he truly lacks thinking before speaking. Do I forget things? Sure. I am a parent and many parents become overwhelmed and will forget a tidbit for time to time - like remembering what color of socks to buy. Now, do I forget the high level important issues? Making sure kids are picked up on time, remembering appointments, things of that nature? Heck NO!

When we got home, I sat my son down and we had a little chat. I wanted him to understand the difference between us - him and I. I am a 34 year old mom with two kids. I keep a schedule at work, a schedule at home - managing things laundry, bills, cleaning, etc. I keep his schedule, his sister’s schedule, and still need to keep up with their dad’s schedule. His responsibility is to keep up with his schedule for school - homework and to make sure his chores are done at home.

I didn’t want him to feel that my schedule was more important then his. Not my intention at all. My purpose was for him to see the difference between forgetting sock color and forgetting the bus. Sock color didn’t cause chaos or concern anyone, but forgetting the bus caused more than a hours worth of worry, frustration, and hustle that was never needed. I also needed him to realize this was part of the responsibility he had asked for. I guess he will be ready when we can just get a regular routine of writing down his homework and remembering to take a shower.

Technorati Tags: All Diva Media, All Diva Network, Parenting Diva, Dannie McClain, responsibility, forgetfulness, following directions, kids, children, parents

Share This