Today, while carrying on a conversation with my soon-to-be 13 year old son, I came to a sad realization - he has grown up. He is no longer the tiny red headed baby I was brought in the middle of the night to nurse. I am not sad that he is growing into a young version of the man he will soon be. I am sad because as I look at him, I feel like I have no clue when his face became longer. When did his eyebrows darken? When did his eyes change shape?

My son has grown right in front me. I have watched him every single day grow, but time did not stand still. He grew up so fast and I just could not keep up with the changes happening in front of me. His face has depth and age. His teeth straitening have changed the look of his smile. The shape of his eyes give him a questioning gaze, wondering what life has in store for him.

As I sat and talked with him over Oreos and milk, PS3 was the topic and right now to a 12 year old boy, that is life; PS3, skateboarding, and music. He could care less about girls, although that will change sooner rather than later and I am afraid driving a vehicle has come way too soon for me to enjoy the thought. Although the idea of him driving his sister everywhere is very tempting!

I guess I reminisce on this today because I saw a young man where my child use to be and I was scared. More petrified then I have been in a long time. I am grateful he is healthy, happy, and growing strong, but I am scared, yet excited for the unknown. Worry. Worry is a word you learn when you become a parent. Fear, too. I never knew fear until I had children.

Our futures are empty. We fill that emptiness with our choices in life. Our education, career, marriage, and children. make our future out to be what ever we choose. Hopefully I have given my son the foundation to choose wisely to make the right life for him. Wow. I feel the weight of the world on me right now, but I will take that as long as my son needs me to, before handing over the reigns.

So, now as I sit here, writing this, looking back over our talk and Oreos, the worry and fear is still there, but I will learn to work through these feelings. Work through them for my son. I have a daughter coming up behind him quickly and for her, I have a feeling the worry and fear will be double. Please tell me I am not alone!

Parents have a river of feelings flowing through them at any given time. What are your fears? What do you worry about? Share your thoughts and feelings with us. Through sharing maybe we can learn some coping techniques to help us get through tough parenting times!

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