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Is There a Right Time To Have Children?
I was pretty young when I had my first. Most people look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I have 3 children. I’m not sure what having 3 children is supposed to look like, but apparently I don’t fit the bill. Sometimes I figure it’s because of my age and they figure I should be older. I had my first at 20. I don’t think it’s really politically correct to have a child at 20 these days.
There are men that can’t believe I have 3 children and still have a figure that’s in tact. I’m not sure whether I take it as a compliment or should be offended. I blame any extra weight I have on my eating habits and I know I’d have it regardless. Maybe I’d have one less roll and of course the stretch marks would be gone, but I think my pregnancy genes were pretty forgiving.
Anyhow, I started a new job and I happened to flock to the women who were closest to my age range. They don’t have children. One is married and she says she’ll be a mom when she gets her debt down; the other one isn’t married but since she looks at her sister’s relationship and it kind of turns her off to the whole children thing.
So when I started thinking about what these women were telling, I thought wow, they’ve really got their stuff together and are doing things the responsible way. Honestly, I feel I hit somewhere in the middle…somewhere between irresponsible and responsible.
More and more people are choosing to wait to have children due to finding the right person, their finances and many other responsible factors. However, nothing is guaranteed in this life, and I can’t say that I’m not extremely happy that I got the hardest years out of the way in terms of child rearing. Somewhere there must be a fine line between the logical and illogical when it comes to matters of the heart in when is the right time to have a child.
I think the right time is always based on the person, then again, I think there really is no right time. I guess I am one of those believers that you just have to do it or it will never happen. Sure, that might not be sensible, but I have seen so many of my friends be sensible and follow the – college-job-marriage course – that now two of them, due to acts beyond their control, will most likely never have children that desperately wanted them. I on the other hand followed a different path, I married at 19 and had my first at 21 and my second at 26 and don’t regret having them young. I know that if I had waited until everything fell into place, I most likely would still not have children just because of how things have turned out. Sometimes things just don’t happen the way we want and if we wait forever, it may never happen.