These days it isn’t uncommon to be a single parent by choice or by default. So what are some good parenting tips for single mothers? Well, there’s no perfect way to be a parent whether single or otherwise, but there are some basics.

• Create routines and family traditions. First of all, if you are a new single mother due to separation, divorce or the end of a partnership then it’s important to look at this time as a creating period. Children as well as yourself need stability in the big world of change, so even though some circumstances have changed, it doesn’t mean that all of them will. Continue family time and ways in which it was spent before the change, as well as create new time and ways. Whether it’s a regular movie night, trip to the park or reading bedtime stories, these family rituals not only add value to the experience of being a parent, but add stability as well.

• Be patient and understanding towards yourself. Being a single mother is not easy. Even if you do get a break with the kids gone occasionally, it doesn’t mean that parenting by yourself isn’t often overwhelming and stressful. Knowing that your job will be harder by yourself and that therefore you are likely to make more mistakes may prevent you from spending more time than necessary for beating yourself up.

• Ask for help. Whether it’s financial, physical or emotional support that you need, don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for some help. Explore any resources through family, friends, community and government for single mothers that may help to give you some added reassurance, peace and help in this extraordinary process of parenting.

• Be selective and cautious when dating. Dating when being a single mother is almost always a no win situation. With children, your potential mate isn’t only dating you, they’re dating your children as well. Children get easily attached, especially if they are vulnerable without the other parent around. Date for several months without children involved and really try to get to know if they are right for you first. Then add the kids in the mix and make sure they are right for them as well. Also last but not least, make sure before entering another relationship, that you have healed from the last, received counseling or/and reflected on your contribution to failing past relationships.

• Maintain a good parenting relationship with the other parent. This may be a tough for some people, especially since many relationships don’t end on good terms. However part of the parental role is to love the other parent, in spite of their flaws or possible lack of relationship skills. You chose them, so if nothing else, you have that responsibility. Even if you can’t choose to love someone up close and personal in a intimate relationship, you should be able to love them from a distance. Try and focus on the good things about the other parent and support and respect them as much as possible in their role as the other parent.