Christina Aguilera recently gave birth to her first baby, a boy named Max.

Yay.

However, I was amused by Christina’s thinking on her planned c-section. She stated that she was afraid of tearing and wanted a “calm and peaceful environment” with “no surprises.”

So, apparently Christina has some jumbled logic.

Since when does “I’m afraid of tearing” lead to “So, sign me up for a 5 inch cut across my lower abdominals instead”?

And since when does “a calm and peaceful environment” mean “major surgery”?

Apparently I missed the part where “no surprises” equates to “filet my innards and yank that baby out of me!”

I don’t know if I want Christina’s “logic” to be the truth (meaning she’s stupid) or if I want it to be a cover for reality (meaning she’s a big fat liar).

We’ve all heard that these Hollywood c-sections are mostly about cosmetics and control. I bet Christina is no different. Heck, she delivered at 37 weeks- a great way to avoid all those extra pounds and stretchmarks! Oh, and she said the hardest part was “deciding on his birthday.”

Good God.

By the way, Christina, I’m 4 years out of a c-section and I still can’t do more than 15 situps or crunches at a time without feeling burning on the inside of my scar. Good luck with that.